How to Shine When You’re Just Not Feeling Shiny

One of my spiritual teachers, Abraham Hicks, says that ‘nothing is more important than that you feel good.’ And that whatever difficult or negative emotions we may have, our main ‘job’ is to find relief (ie any improvement in this mental state, no matter how small).

So this morning, I awoke, after a particularly difficult night – one where the baby opted to empty his bowels seemingly continuously from 3 am til 6:30, and my daughter, who was starting her first ever day of school today, spent much of the night in mommy and daddy’s bed, tossing and turning, while making whining noises cleverly timed at every moment I began to drift back off to sleep.

Needless to say, I was exhausted, and let’s just say a little grumpy. I was in that space where the idea of looking for, or finding relief from my negative mood, is frankly, annoying.

After a somewhat emotional departure at the school, I returned home to get her little brother ready for his morning with his carer. Another 45 minutes of chasing an unruly child around, trying desperately to get any sock on any limb, and I was ready for a nap.

So faced with the option of actually tackling my work and to-do list, I chose to remember Abraham Hicks’ advice. Nothing is as important as that I feel good.

What would make me feel good today? A walk in the bright fresh air?
Nah, too cold for me. I’m feeling vulnerable (and, if I’m honest, menstrual) and need something reassuring and cozy.

So off I herded myself, my laptop and my extra layers, to a local café, where I could sit and write, while drinking an oversugared decaf café-con-leche. Because, in all honestly, this is EXACTLY what I need this morning, and it’s making me feel good.  Inspired even.

As I open my laptop and begin to write, the first hurdle to overcome is my own judgment (‘I SHOULD be out walking, or working on that project.’ ‘Nature is so much healthier than a chain café.’).*

*Sidenote: I’m REALLY good at self-judgment.

But life isn’t about judgment. It’s about what’s BEYOND the judgment. It’s about that space between ego and thought. The essence of all that underlies our busy minds. And this is what I’m here to connect with. And attempt to write about.

As I reconnect with this wisdom, everything eases.  My mind releases, the words flow easier, I unclench my jaw, and my coffee even begins to taste better.  I notice the subtle, earthy brown notes wafting up through my senses.

So my morning, which started off a bit rocky, got clearer and more connected as I tapped into something beyond my mind, then stepped into and moved about my day.  I can clearly see the parallels between the pattern of this day, and the greater pattern of my life:

  1. Get caught up in experiences and thoughts.  Notice I’m overwhelmed and not in a great mood.
  2. Remember I’m connected to something infinitely vaster than my mind and my drama.  Do whatever I need to do to reconnect with this.
  3. Notice the ease and flow return as I move and act from this space.
  4. Forget it all and do it over.  Catch myself a bit quicker next time.
  5. Rinse and repeat.

I’ve been reminded from seemingly everywhere lately that my main (only?) job is to manage my energy, my vibration.  To connect with source and act from there.

Everything else is just the fluff that you find after the tumble dryer finishes a load.  It’s fun to scrape off the filter, but it wasn’t really the point of the exercise.

I’d love to hear from you.  What do you do when you’re not feeling so shiny, in order to reconnect with something greater?  Where do you find your ‘relief?’



Want to Swim Against the Stream? You Need This First..

I live at a workshop center.  A center for spiritual education.  For life transformation. 

And most of the time, I tune it all out.

It’s a bit edgy to say this.  I mean, Findhorn is a place of magic.  I know more than a few people (myself included) who have left here, declaring “I’m going to go off into the world and find a place similar to Findhorn, but in a better climate.
And 3 months, or a year, or 5 years later, they were back, declaring “It’s a crazy world out there.  And this place just makes sense.”

Or a version of the above.

So it may seem strange that there’s all this world transformation going on literally underneath my finger, and I don’t partake in much of it.

I mean, I meet amazing people from all over the globe, on a daily basis, but I almost never attend workshops myself.  Partially because I have children and a business.  And partially because often just living IN the buzz and vibration of this place is stimulation enough for me.

Well, folks..
I’m doing a workshop this weekend. 

Why?  Because some part of me recognized what the gorgeous Kate Shela (who’s leading my workshop, Shapeshifters, which is kind of where shamanic transmutation meets 5 Rhythms dance) said last night:

“Sometimes you gotta swim against the stream.  Like the magnificent salmon.”

But the other part of me – the one who actually SIGNED UP for the workshop – recognized that

You can’t swim against the stream until you find the stream.  Once you’re IN the stream, THEN you can choose whichever freaking way you like to swim in it.

Many of us live our lives out of the box, swimming against the stream.  But it’s not OUR stream we’re swimming against.

I spent many MANY years dancing to a different drummer, but I realized recently that it wasn’t MY drummer.  It was a drummer full of ‘shoulds’.

Lately, I’ve been finding my way towards my stream – my true stream – the one my soul sings of when I take time to listen.  But I’ve held back from dipping my toe in.

This workshop is me, saying I’m ready to dive into my stream, and flow.  I’m ready to begin living my life.

To stop waiting for the perfect place or home or weight or weather.

Why do we put ourselves on hold while waiting for the planets to align?

Can’t we see that they already ARE aligned?

We just won’t feel it until we begin to act as if they are.

And there’s a part of me deep down and way back that has sensed this all along.  This is the part from which my ecourse sprouted, years ago.  This is the part of me that knew that The School for the Awakening Woman (link coming soon!) needed to exist in the world.

I just didn’t know what it was called back then.  Or what it would look like.

I also didn’t see how to proceed.

You see, without action, there can’t be clarity.

Now I’m beginning to act, and the path literally unfolds before me.

Trust, allow, act, clarity of purpose.

This is what I have come to know as the Sacred Art of Flow.

Not surprisingly, when we allow Flow into our lives, we begin to find our downstream.

And from there, you can swim whichever way you like.


I’d love to hear from you.  Let me know in the comments how you find your stream!

What Do You Do In Those ‘Oh Shit’ Moments?

I wrote a few weeks ago when I was about to leave for my birthday mountain retreat.

Turned out the retreat, while beautiful, was cut short by a suddenly sick baby.

We were in the mountains in the middle of nowhere, and Rafi (who had been a bit sniffly, but otherwise fine), took a turn for the worse. 

Now if you know his history, you’ll understand that this illnesses can be a 

Think middle of the night, hours from anywhere, and he’s struggling to breathe. 

His lips went blue.

“Oh shit” was all I could think.

So what do you do in those ‘Oh Shit’ moments?

Well, we did the best we could.

But first, we struggled against it.  As parents who are becoming used to this type of drama, our first inclination was to get him breathing normally again, and settle him back to bed. 
(He was congested, so laying down made him worse.)

When I was attached to that scenario, I found myself a ball of stress.

So instead, I took a deep breath, thought about what I would tell a client about resistance (don’t you HATE it when your own lessons knock you in the head in the middle of the night?), and resigned to sitting up with him for the rest of the night.

And we agreed to head home, via hospital, in the morning.

We needed to release our picture of what we WANTED to be, to embrace what actually WAS.

So when the sun rose in the morning, Rafi had been asleep on my chest for a couple hours.  He was still a bit wheezy, but we somehow managed to prop him up while we packed up, and left.

Why am I telling you this?

Because it was a perfect example of how resistance shows up in every aspect of our lives.

You can resist money.

You can resist love.

You can resist your purpose.

And you can resist WHAT IS.


You can look at your main areas of resistance, and use them as a signpost, to guide you right where you want to be.

You can avoid them, or you can dive in, and learn to use the wisdom in it, to transform your blocks and struggles to ease and flow.

I LOVE this work.  Because it feels like the meat of the human behavior sandwich. Or the hommous, if you’re more the veggie type.

{In any case, I’ve been avoiding putting myself out there on this topic, until a few weeks ago.  My coach helped me see that I was resisting it.  So I’m now diving in and using my own medicine to inform my work!}

SOOO…I’m offering a free teleclass on this exact subject.

I’d love for you to join me, and learn to use your resistance as a signpost in your own life

I’ll help you recognize your main area(s) of resistance, and understand how to use them as a force for GOOD and GROWTH in your life (and stop wasting all that energy fighting). 

It’s a whole new way of living.

So sign up here for the free class, and I’ll send you the recording, so you can listen when it best suits you.

And feel free to share the link with anyone you know who’s looking to change some stuck patterns in their life (I’d love it if you’d help spread the word!).

Here’s to moving through our resistance, together..

The Difference Between Selfish and Paying Attention to Yourself (and WHY the Heck It Matters!)

(This was written a few months ago, and mailed to my superduper list, but I’ve only managed to post it on my blog you get to read how events went down in my birthday cabin as soon as I post that.  It’s like not having wait for your favorite weekly episodes when you buy the DVD series.  Lucky you 😉)

I turn 40 on Monday.  Yep, 5 days left of my 30’s, and then onto my next phase.

Now I know it’s just a number, but 40 feels special to me somehow.  I think it may be because I remember my mom saying when I was younger:

“My life began at 40!”

I asked her about it not long ago.  She didn’t remember saying it, but she’s sure she was referring to the fact that we (kids) were no longer babies, my father had started making better income in his job, they were living in a house they loved..

Basically she felt like she’d landed on Earth in a place with much less worry.  And now she could actually focus on enjoying life..enjoying what mattered to her.

Ok, I’m projecting a bit, but after the stresses of my last couple years, with baby in hospital and all the life-or-death immediacy of my son’s illness..

I’m taking a page from her book.

I’m stepping into a new phase, which includes paying attention to myself (surprising difficult for many women).

Now, there’s a difference in paying attention to yourself, and being selfish (although I occasionally advocate the latter as well).

Paying attention to yourself means:

  • Noticing what you love, and doing more of that
  • Learning to say NO to those things that aren’t in alignment with you
  • Offering out the best parts of you when, and if you feel inspired to
  • Recognizing your body as sacred (and  treating it so)
  • Noticing what things make you feel you are LIVING HERE ON EARTH and which things take you out of yourself
  • Acknowledging when times have been tough or stressful or you’re feeling too full, and making space for breath and rest
  • Asking for help when you need it (or preferably before)..

..You get the point.

It’s tempting to check out and look for escape when we’re caught up in the busyness of life.  Sometimes it’s enough just to ask yourself “what do I truly need right now?”

So on that note, I tuned into what I MOST needed for my 40th birthday and here’s what came:

Space, wilderness, comfort..

I wanted to be somewhere, with my husband and kids, that’s quiet, spacious and beautiful.

The idea of organizing a big celebration bash made my head spin.  It simply wasn’t right.

So we’ll be in a log cabin in the mountains for the week, with amazing views, an outdoor hot tub, and an indoor sauna.

Now THAT is sacred space to me!! 🙂

I’d love to hear from you how do YOU pay attention to yourself?  How do you know when you most need to? 
Let me know in the comments!


And just in case you didn’t get my gift in the last email I sent out, I have a few Power Questions I use to help me whenever I feel stuck, confused, or panicky.

They help me know I’m on the right path.  At any time.  In any situation. (Whew!)

They are valuable.  And and I’ve put them together in a sweet little pdf for you, so you, too, can access these whenever you need to tap into your own inner wisdom to move forward.

You can download it here.

Let me know how it helps you and if you have any questions or brilliant stories to share!

Here’s to your next milestone being sacred!