Just because I specialize in helping others find their Flow, it doesn’t mean I always find it easy to find my own.
On the contrary, we teach what we most need to learn, right?
There is always and forever a constant stream of consciousness, and all we need to do is tap into it.
Sounds simple, right?
On one level, it is. When you’re in the Flow, it feels easy. It feels obvious.
And I’ve spent the last 5 days witnessing myself slipping away from it (note: IT doesn’t slip away from us – it’s always present. WE slip out of the stream).
I took part in an amazing dance workshop last weekend. By the end of Sunday, I was entirely expanded. Connected to to Flow in a way I hadn’t been in years. I arrived home with total capacity to be with my children in a completely loving way. The usual triggers seemed amusing and just rolled off my back. And the kids felt this, and responded with laughter and sweetness.
It was what I imagine Mother Theresa would be like as a mother. Or the Dalai Lama. Or some other kind, calm and spiritual figurehead.
Monday morning I woke up and discovered my childcare for the morning had cancelled. I’d hoped to have a bit of time to dance and integrate my weekend by writing. But now it looked like a full 10 hours of me and the kids.
“Ok, good practice. Stay expanded. Life is a dance. Continue dancing.” I told myself.
I did ok. I had a little blip in the afternoon when I felt very crabby and tired. But aside from that, it felt like a relatively calm and peaceful day with the kids. I was even humming as I prepared dinner in the evening.
And I awoke Tuesday morning to find the childcare was cancelled again.
And the same on Wednesday. And Thursday.
Now, I consider myself a relatively..um..sane person. I’ve had a strong spiritual connection and practice for years. And I’ve had glimpses of the interconnectedness of the Universe and all it contains. We are all consciousness. I know and feel this on every level.
I get what Flow is about.
And I know that all it takes is a couple of full days with my
triggers children for me to come crashing down to my Earthly limitations, from wherever I’ve been flying.
They are magical beings. I love them with all of my heart and soul. And I think that’s connected to why mothers find it so hard to find a balance.
Children are, by nature, needy. And mothers, in order to stay sane and balanced, have to have boundaries around their own needs.
But it can all get blurry and the lines erased when these creatures we love with all of our being JUST NEED US.
I’ve had moments when I was in intensive care with my baby boy, and I know if I didn’t get out for a break, I would likely have a breakdown. But something in me couldn’t leave at that moment. It feels like the most powerful force in the Universe (Love) pulling against our own well-being.
And finding the balance is NOT about choosing one or the other, but in finding the Flow within each. Within whatever comes our way.
Ironically (or maybe not so much), I’ve been creating this Ecourse on Resistance, and when I finally moved through my own Resistance to get it out there, Life handed me a bucket of outside Resistance. In the form of my children and 8 weeks of no consistent childcare.
For those of you who are mothers who work from home, you’ll know that sometimes things just need to grind to a halt. Life happens. The reason we do what we do is to create better life for our families. So sometimes we just need to be present with what is.
And this is part of the dance of Flow. Of Life.
But finding our momentum again after a break can feel challenging.
I daresay that many of us struggle so much to pick up the threads where we left off, that we just don’t. And this feels like a waste of all the beautiful time, effort and creativity that came before.
I felt like I’d lost my momentum after a few weeks without childcare and zero movement in my business. And I felt lost as to where to pick up.
So I did a little intuitive write on this and here’s the wisdom that came:
Me: My momentum has completely stopped. Where do I go from here?
Answer: You need to find a place/way to reconnect with the work that REALLY excites you. This is your doorway back in to your flow.
At first glance, this felt overly simplistic to me. But then I realized that IT IS SIMPLE. And I usually try to overcomplicate it.
Part of the beauty of creation is learning to incorporate the dance of life INTO whatever it is we are creating.
So my ecourse will not be the same now (with my new experience and wisdom) as it would have been a few weeks ago.
It can now benefit from the added learning (that my children have so sweetly provided all of us). And I see how this will make it more..real. Those of you who also struggle with the ebb, flow and demands of everyday life (um, I imagine EVERYONE), will find more space for you to be YOU, with everything you bring.
And if you can move through your Resistance while bringing ALL of you to the table, then you KNOW you can continue to dance your way to your next level, no matter the circumstances.
Not ready to dive into the full Resistance Roadmap just yet? Here’s a free gift to help you know you’re on the right path..