One of my spiritual teachers, Abraham Hicks, says that ‘nothing is more important than that you feel good.’ And that whatever difficult or negative emotions we may have, our main ‘job’ is to find relief (ie any improvement in this mental state, no matter how small).
So this morning, I awoke, after a particularly difficult night – one where the baby opted to empty his bowels seemingly continuously from 3 am til 6:30, and my daughter, who was starting her first ever day of school today, spent much of the night in mommy and daddy’s bed, tossing and turning, while making whining noises cleverly timed at every moment I began to drift back off to sleep.
Needless to say, I was exhausted, and let’s just say a little grumpy. I was in that space where the idea of looking for, or finding relief from my negative mood, is frankly, annoying.
After a somewhat emotional departure at the school, I returned home to get her little brother ready for his morning with his carer. Another 45 minutes of chasing an unruly child around, trying desperately to get any sock on any limb, and I was ready for a nap.
So faced with the option of actually tackling my work and to-do list, I chose to remember Abraham Hicks’ advice. Nothing is as important as that I feel good.
What would make me feel good today? A walk in the bright fresh air?
Nah, too cold for me. I’m feeling vulnerable (and, if I’m honest, menstrual) and need something reassuring and cozy.
So off I herded myself, my laptop and my extra layers, to a local café, where I could sit and write, while drinking an oversugared decaf café-con-leche. Because, in all honestly, this is EXACTLY what I need this morning, and it’s making me feel good. Inspired even.
As I open my laptop and begin to write, the first hurdle to overcome is my own judgment (‘I SHOULD be out walking, or working on that project.’ ‘Nature is so much healthier than a chain café.’).*
*Sidenote: I’m REALLY good at self-judgment.
But life isn’t about judgment. It’s about what’s BEYOND the judgment. It’s about that space between ego and thought. The essence of all that underlies our busy minds. And this is what I’m here to connect with. And attempt to write about.
As I reconnect with this wisdom, everything eases. My mind releases, the words flow easier, I unclench my jaw, and my coffee even begins to taste better. I notice the subtle, earthy brown notes wafting up through my senses.
So my morning, which started off a bit rocky, got clearer and more connected as I tapped into something beyond my mind, then stepped into and moved about my day. I can clearly see the parallels between the pattern of this day, and the greater pattern of my life:
- Get caught up in experiences and thoughts. Notice I’m overwhelmed and not in a great mood.
- Remember I’m connected to something infinitely vaster than my mind and my drama. Do whatever I need to do to reconnect with this.
- Notice the ease and flow return as I move and act from this space.
- Forget it all and do it over. Catch myself a bit quicker next time.
- Rinse and repeat.
I’ve been reminded from seemingly everywhere lately that my main (only?) job is to manage my energy, my vibration. To connect with source and act from there.
Everything else is just the fluff that you find after the tumble dryer finishes a load. It’s fun to scrape off the filter, but it wasn’t really the point of the exercise.
I’d love to hear from you. What do you do when you’re not feeling so shiny, in order to reconnect with something greater? Where do you find your ‘relief?’