The Difference Between Selfish and Paying Attention to Yourself (and WHY the Heck It Matters!)

(This was written a few months ago, and mailed to my superduper list, but I’ve only managed to post it on my blog you get to read how events went down in my birthday cabin as soon as I post that.  It’s like not having wait for your favorite weekly episodes when you buy the DVD series.  Lucky you 😉)

I turn 40 on Monday.  Yep, 5 days left of my 30’s, and then onto my next phase.

Now I know it’s just a number, but 40 feels special to me somehow.  I think it may be because I remember my mom saying when I was younger:

“My life began at 40!”

I asked her about it not long ago.  She didn’t remember saying it, but she’s sure she was referring to the fact that we (kids) were no longer babies, my father had started making better income in his job, they were living in a house they loved..

Basically she felt like she’d landed on Earth in a place with much less worry.  And now she could actually focus on enjoying life..enjoying what mattered to her.

Ok, I’m projecting a bit, but after the stresses of my last couple years, with baby in hospital and all the life-or-death immediacy of my son’s illness..

I’m taking a page from her book.

I’m stepping into a new phase, which includes paying attention to myself (surprising difficult for many women).

Now, there’s a difference in paying attention to yourself, and being selfish (although I occasionally advocate the latter as well).

Paying attention to yourself means:

  • Noticing what you love, and doing more of that
  • Learning to say NO to those things that aren’t in alignment with you
  • Offering out the best parts of you when, and if you feel inspired to
  • Recognizing your body as sacred (and  treating it so)
  • Noticing what things make you feel you are LIVING HERE ON EARTH and which things take you out of yourself
  • Acknowledging when times have been tough or stressful or you’re feeling too full, and making space for breath and rest
  • Asking for help when you need it (or preferably before)..

..You get the point.

It’s tempting to check out and look for escape when we’re caught up in the busyness of life.  Sometimes it’s enough just to ask yourself “what do I truly need right now?”

So on that note, I tuned into what I MOST needed for my 40th birthday and here’s what came:

Space, wilderness, comfort..

I wanted to be somewhere, with my husband and kids, that’s quiet, spacious and beautiful.

The idea of organizing a big celebration bash made my head spin.  It simply wasn’t right.

So we’ll be in a log cabin in the mountains for the week, with amazing views, an outdoor hot tub, and an indoor sauna.

Now THAT is sacred space to me!! 🙂

I’d love to hear from you how do YOU pay attention to yourself?  How do you know when you most need to? 
Let me know in the comments!


And just in case you didn’t get my gift in the last email I sent out, I have a few Power Questions I use to help me whenever I feel stuck, confused, or panicky.

They help me know I’m on the right path.  At any time.  In any situation. (Whew!)

They are valuable.  And and I’ve put them together in a sweet little pdf for you, so you, too, can access these whenever you need to tap into your own inner wisdom to move forward.

You can download it here.

Let me know how it helps you and if you have any questions or brilliant stories to share!

Here’s to your next milestone being sacred!

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